This time every year, people draw up lists of New Year's resolutions: lose weight, exercise, quit smoking. The New Year offers us a sort of "restart" button. Sure, we're not cleaning out our mental or physical hard drives entirely. None of us change ourselves completely. But we can use this time to "reboot" — take a pause and, hopefully, perform somewhat better going forward.
“Where did the year go?”
What a routine question to ask yourself, opening yet another of Santa’s presents and adjusting Christmas ornaments on yet another tree. No doubt we have done a lot during the last 360-something days. Yet thinking about a new list of resolutions and goals, we find that the “old friends” are still there. Weight loss… Studies… That career goal that has been queuing for a while now…
What makes us “try once again” to write the New Year’s resolutions over and over?
The tradition of the New Year's Resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C. Janus, a mythical king of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar.
With two faces, Janus could look back on past events and forward to the future. Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions and many Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies and also exchanged gifts before the beginning of each year.
The New Year has not always begun on January 1, and it doesn't begin on that date everywhere today. It begins on that date only for cultures that use a 365-day solar calendar. January 1 became the beginning of the New Year in 46 B.C., when Julius Caesar developed a calendar that would more accurately reflect the seasons than previous calendars had.
The Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances. At mid
night on December 31, the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new. The Romans began a tradition of exchanging gifts on New Year's Eve by giving one another branches from sacred trees for good fortune. Later, nuts or coins imprinted with the god Janus became more common New Year's gifts.
In the Middle Ages, Christians changed New Year's Day to December 25, the birth of Jesus. Then they changed it to March 25, a holiday called the Annunciation. In the sixteenth century, Pope Gregory XIII revised the Julian calendar, and the celebration of the New Year was returned to January 1.
Although the date for New Year's Day is not the same in every culture, it is always a time for celebration and for customs to ensure good luck in the coming year.
New Year's Resolutions
January 1 is not only the start of the New Year, but is when many begin their New Year’s Resolutions, manage stress, eat healthier, exercise more, and/or spend more time with family. Sticking to your resolutions and making changes can be difficult but not impossible. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) would like to offer tips and other resources to help families and individuals keep their resolutions for a healthy mind and healthy life.
“A new year is a great time to think about the changes we want to make in our lives. Being and staying well is a resolution many people make for the New Year, but those resolutions can lead to frustration when we find we have set unrealistic goals,” said Philip R. Muskin, M.D., Professor of Clinical Psychiatry, Columbia University and Chair of the APA Council on Psychosomatic Medicine. “Making a resolution to change one thing that will make us healthier is a priceless gift that only we can give to ourselves.”
- Try again. Everyone has made, and broken past resolutions, that does not mean that you won’t succeed this time. Start with a positive approach, including thinking about what has disrupted your good intentions in the past. Don’t discourage yourself with a negative outlook.
- Don’t make too many resolutions. Trying to eat better, exercise more, quit smoking, and reduce stress is too much to tackle at once. Pick a realistic, attainable goal with a reasonable time frame.
- Choose your own resolution. Make sure this is something that you want to accomplish for yourself and not for friends or family. When you attain the goal they will benefit from your success as well.
- Make a plan and write it down. Plan what you’d like to accomplish in three or six months. Achieving small goals over time gives you a sense of accomplishment and motivation to keep going. Writing your goals down is a good way to keep track of your progress.
A) What to do next and
B) What are all of the steps required to complete the goal.
2. Create Your Plan IMMEDIATELY
If you're like most people, you'll have a limited window of opportunity during the first few days of January to harness your motivation. After that, most people forget their resolutions completely.
It is imperative that you begin creating your plan immediately.
- Involve friends and family. They can support your efforts, and can motivate you to keep going. Setting a personal goal is not a “promise” which can never be broken. Don’t paint yourself into a corner by overstating what can be a realistic change you plan to make.
- Forgive yourself. If you get off track, don’t think that you failed. Review your plan and make adjustments.
- Congratulate yourself. Reward yourself when your intermediate goals or resolutions are met.
The most important point to consider when deciding on your resolutions is to decide if you are truly willing to make the change in your life. Deciding to make the change just to have a resolution will not keep you motivated to attain your goal. Many people fail because they are afraid or don’t fully realize how the goal can benefit their every day lives. When you decide on your resolution, make a plan of action and list the ways it will improve your life. When you can see the prize, you are more likely to keep up the fight.
The Psychology of New Year's Resolutions
According to a survey, most people — 75 percent — who make a resolution fail on their first attempt and most people — 67 percent — make more than one resolution.
So, from a psychological perspective, it might be interesting to ask what exactly determines how many goals people set and how successful they are. Luckily for us, researchers Mukhopadhyay and Johar (2005) did just that and came to some interesting conclusions.
Their research found that people who believe that self-control is something dynamic, changing and unlimited (e.g., “I can stop smoking, all I have to do is put my mind to it. I can also change my eating and be a better person, it just takes willpower.”) tend to set more resolutions.
People who believe that we all are born with a limited, set amount of self-control that one cannot change (e.g., “I can’t help myself from eating all this chocolate — I inherited the ‘chocolate gene’ from my mom!”) and who also have little belief in their own capabilities to carry out their own goals (they have what psychologists refer to as “low self-efficacy”) naturally did worse on obtaining their New Year’s resolution goals.
As the researchers summarized, individuals with high self-efficacy attribute failure to insufficient effort, while individuals with low self-efficacy attribute failure to deficient ability. Higher self-efficacy generally is correlated with a greater likelihood of achieving one’s goals.
The investigators also found that if you are made to believe that self-control is a fixed or limited resource that you can’t change, you will also set fewer goals and will give up on them sooner, regardless of your level of self-efficacy.
What all of this means is that you’ll do better on your New Year’s goals if you believe that self-control is indeed an unlimited resource that we all have access to and can leverage with our resolutions. The more you believe in your own capabilities — high self-efficacy — the more likely you will succeed as well. And it also seems to help to set more goals, because you will be more likely to succeed at them if you do (people who set fewer goals seem to often go into the exercise with the self-fulfilling expectation of failing).
Other research points to having the actual skills to make the changes you’re proposing for your life.
For instance, it’s all fine and well to say you want to quit smoking. But do you really have any idea on how to do so? Researching the most effective methods for quitting ahead of time predicts better success in actually achieving your goal. And of course, being ready to change also helps. If you don’t want to change and so only make a half-hearted resolution to do so, don’t be surprised by your amazing lack of success.
The New Year’s task is not to write “resolutions” or “goals.”
It is to define the direction of your life for the next 365 days and set the stepping stones on this road of success -- set your goals. Remember the words of Arthur Robert Ashe, Jr. "Success is a journey not a destination. The doing is usually more important than the outcome. Not everyone can be Number 1."
This doesn’t mean that your dream should be anything less than being Number 1! Choosing the life you live and choosing how to live it is the greatest gift you can give yourself each New Year’s Eve. It is challenging for a starter. But the rewards are well worth it.
Go to www.stevepavlina.com for a free download of the first chapter of Steve’s book Personal Development for Smart People, which includes a self-assessment exercise that will help you decide how you'd like to improve your life in 2009.
When you love what you are doing and where you are going, the only step-by-step guidance you need are the words of William Arthur Ward’s poem :
Believe While Others: 
“Believe while others are doubting; Plan while others are playing; Study while others are sleeping; Decide while others are delaying; Prepare while others are daydreaming; Begin while others are procrastinating; Work while others are wishing; Save while others are wasting; Listen while others are talking; Smile while others are frowning; Commend while others are criticizing; Persist while others are quitting.”
OH, YOU WANT TO KNOW MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS?Mine is to better understand my Heavenly Father’s plan for me (and all of us) His growth plan for us is found in Moses 1:39: “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” Now that is a resolution. It appears to me that our Father in Heaven has high expectations for all of us. Have we embraced those goals?
As you begin to formulate
your personal resolution plan, may I give you one piece of advice? Please acquire some strategies from those who love you. Sometimes those who love us may not always present these methods in the right moment or with the right tone, but we must use good discretion when receiving this advice. Those who love us are not perfect, but most of the time the advice they give us is. I know my mother's goals for me as were mine for my children were: to do well in your classes, serve a mission, graduate from college or a trade school, find a good spouse, seal your love in one of God’s holy temples, have a great family, secure good employment, be a productive citizen, and of course live happily ever after. To do the ones I haven't been successful with yet, I turn them into resolutions to keep trying. So I need to follow the plan already set.
Let us turn to the scriptures to discuss the first essential element. Lehi—a father and a prophet—spoke to his son Jacob and stated in 2 Nephi 2:25 that “men [and women] are, that they might have joy.” So we are here upon this earth that we might have joy. We are here to experience the good things of this life. I think every one of us needs to profit from this blessed feeling. How do we receive this joy? Nephi—a brother, husband, father, and prophet—stated in 2 Nephi 5:10–11:
And we did observe to keep the judgments, and the statutes, and the commandments of the Lord in all things. . . .
And the Lord was with us; and we did prosper exceedingly.
We receive this joy through keeping God’s commandments. As we keep His commandments, we feel true joy and we prosper both temporally and spiritually. King Benjamin said in Mosiah 2:41:
And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state
of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual.
Commandments are our map. They are what we must follow in this game of life. They give us directions, guidelines, and a course of action. Obedience to this path will bring us to our eternal destination. “Commandments are nothing more than wise instructions from a loving Father.” He knows and cares for our earthly existence and wants more than we know for us to return back to His presence. What a reunion that will be! What joy can be greater than making it back to the Father who created us? He sent us off to school to learn the lessons of life, and He wants us back home.
Have Frequent and Fervent PrayerCommunication with our Father in Heaven is vital for so many aspects in our lives, especially the spiritual one. Alma told his son Helaman:
Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou li
est down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day. [Alma 37:37]
This is good advice from a father to a son.Most of us would find it very difficult to set an appointment with some of our most prominent leaders in this world. It commonly requires days, weeks, and sometimes months to schedule an appointment with anyone who has some type of professional title.
The greatest aspect of prayer for me is that we can speak to the highest-ranking individual in this universe—God, our Heavenly Father—at any time and in any place we so desire. There is no need for an appointment. He is always there and always listening. And, most important, He is always, always giving us answers to our supplications. Let me repeat this: You need no appointment.
Elder Richard G. Scott stated:
Prayer is a supernal gift of our Father in Heaven to every soul. Think of it: the absolute Supreme Being, the most all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful personage, encourages you and me, as insignificant as we are, to converse with Him as our Father. [“Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer,” Ensign, May 2007, 8]
Most people, young and old, have experienced the wonderful electronic device called the cell phone. You know how frustrating it is when calls are ignored or not answered. Our Father in Heaven always answers our calls. Our reception or signal is always in range. Our prayer plan consists of unlimited minutes.
Be Inspired by the Scriptures
The third essential element that is necessary for your personal strategy is dedicating your time to the scriptures. In the Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 4:15, Nephi stated: “For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children.”
The scriptures are the greatest books ever written. The scriptures provide answers for our temporal and spiritual well-being. The Spirit will inspire and convert our hearts and testimonies at different moments in our lives. Most of the time He will do it while we are pondering or studying the scriptures. The scriptures take on new meaning at different stages in our lives. The same verse can broaden our insight with new messages that differ from those of many years before.
In a First Presidency message in 1976, President Spencer W. Kimball said:
I am convinced that each of us, at some time in our lives, must discover the scriptures for ourselves—and not just discover them once, but rediscover them again and again. . . .
The Lord is not trifling with us when he gives us these things, for “unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.” (Luke 12:48.) Access to these things means responsibility for them. We must study the scriptures according to the Lord’s commandment (see 3 Ne. 23:1–5); and we must let them govern our lives. [“First Presidency Message: How Rare a Possession—the Scriptures!” Ensign, September 1976, 4, 5]
Protect Yourselves from the AdversaryBefore we set our resolutions in place we need prepation. Ephesians 6:11–12 reads:
Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
[Now listen to this:] For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
I believe that for every good you try to accomplish in your life you will compete against the adversary—one whom we don’t see. We need to protect ourselves and be prepared to compete and to battle our nemesis for he will surely try to keep us from our betterment. Elder M. Russell Ballard stated:
I like to think of this spiritual armor not as a solid piece of metal molded to fit the body, but more like chain mail. Chain mail consists of dozens of tiny pieces of steel fastened together to allow the user greater flexibility without losing protection. I say that because it has been my experience, covering many more years than you have yet been privileged to live, that there is not one great and grand thing we can do to arm ourselves spiritually. True spiritual power lies in numerous smaller acts woven together in a fabric of spiritual fortification that protects and shields from all evil. [“Be Strong in the Lord, and in the Power of His Might,” BYU devotional, 3 March 2002]
To me, that is another great apostle of the Lord shouting out helps.
Here is just one more example of one who loved me and gave me direction in a time of need. In the words of Elder Neal A. Maxwell:Actually, brothers and sisters, Jesus is already victorious in the greatest battle anyway: “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world
” (John 16:33). . . .
. . . Moreover, though we live in a failing world, we have not been sent here to fail. [“Encircled in the Arms of His Love,” Ensign, November 2002, 16, 17; emphasis in original]
The battle has been won. We know the final outcome. We need to choose whose team we want to be on. Joshua 24:15 states: “Choose you this day whom ye will serve; . . . but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
The Prophet Joseph Smith was an outstanding example. He said in Doctrine and Covenants 128:22: “Brethren [and sisters], shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory!”
Everything else is small and do-able
if I can continue in just becoming
the best I can be
each day of this
new year.
